Why I No Longer Set New Year’s Resolutions As Someone Who Recovered from an Eating Disorder
Happy New Year! I know this post is a few days late, but I figured done is better than perfect, so here we are.
As someone who struggled for many years with an eating disorder, I always found this time of year to be disheartening. Before the holiday season even begins, we are bombarded with messages about changing our appearance - messages riddled with diet culture that we must lose weight, eat “healthier”, work out more, etc. in order to be the best versions of ourselves.
Media plants a seed that in order to have our best year yet, we must change the way we look so that we can be happy and confident. These messages are destructive to all, but especially to those in recovery from an eating disorder.
When someone has an eating disorder, they already have a part of them (their eating disorder self) that is trying to convince them to do all of those things. Their eating disorder self promises that they will be happier, healthier, prettier, and more confident, if only they lose X number of pounds or if only they eat “healthier”. Yet efforts to obey the eating disorder self are never enough.
When we are fed these messages to change our bodies during the New Year, it only makes the eating disorder self louder because it reinforces the distorted thoughts. It reinforces that happiness comes from making external changes to our appearance and that we must go to extreme lengths to achieve beauty.
Sadly, I listened to my eating disorder self for many years. I made far too many New Year’s Resolutions about changing my body.
And here’s what I know: I know that its promises never came true. I was not happier. I was not healthier. I was not living my best life. No amount of hating my body or trying desperately to change it ever got me the peace and happiness I so desperately wanted.
Do you know what did help me find peace and happiness? Recovering from my eating disorder, finding my purpose, and finally living a life I am proud of.
So I no longer set New Year’s Resolutions. Partly because I’m tired of the dialogue around being our “best selves”. But also because if I want to make changes in my life - to grow, to learn, to do things differently - I don’t wait for an arbitrary date on a calendar. I start today. I set goals. I set intentions. I try new things. I don’t wait for things to be different in order to be happy. And through this whole process, I’m kind to myself every day.
As an eating disorder recovery coach, I take this same approach with my clients. Alongside their treatment teams, we set goals every week. And the next week, we set new goals. We don’t wait until the New Year to work on recovery. We don’t wait to challenge the eating disorder self or make small changes. We do it right now.
So if you’ve set some New Year’s Resolutions about changing your body, think about if it will really help you find what you are looking for. And perhaps instead, I encourage you to practice kindness and love - to yourself and to others. Or try doing one thing every day that is in line with the person you want to become.
And if you’re struggling with an eating disorder or any form of disordered eating, this is your sign to take one step today to get closer to recovery. Not because it’s the beginning of January, but because you deserve to find peace and happiness from within yourself every single day of the year. You don’t need to wait until everything is perfect to be happy. You can start living the life you want in the body that you have today.
As always, keep fighting for your beautifully recovered life.
Hey there, I’m Lizzie, a CCI Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach working with clients virtually worldwide. I help individuals heal their relationship with food and their bodies through day-to-day behavior changes and goal setting.
