How to use the “decide once” principle in eating disorder recovery
Everyday we are faced with lots of decisions. Way too many to count. Decision-making takes time and energy and making so many decisions throughout the day is exhausting. And when you’re recovering from an eating disorder, it can feel exponentially harder.
The part of you that wants to get better (your healthy self) is in a constant battle with the part of you that wants you to remain in your eating disorder (your eating disorder self). So the battle is within you and you’ve got two competing parts each wanting you to make different decisions.
Anytime you make a decision that is in line with recovery (which already takes a lot of strength!), you have a voice telling you to do the opposite. If you’re still struggling to strengthen your healthy self, you might listen to the eating disorder self, negotiating until you appease that part of you.
This constant chatter telling you to change your mind goes on before you can even follow through with the decision. No wonder you’re exhausted! It feels like a never ending battle and it often feels easier to just give in and continue with the status quo (your eating disorder). The entire process is draining. But there are ways we can quiet the chatter, reduce decision fatigue, and help us follow through with our recovery goals.
Decide Once.
So, there’s this amazing author, Kendra Adachi, who created 13 principles that help her “embrace what matters, ditch what doesn’t, and get stuff done”. In her book, the Lazy Genius Way, she describes ways to be a genius about the things that matter to her and lazy about the things that don’t.
The very first principle in the Lazy Genius Way is “Decide Once”. This helps give our brain a break by reducing the number of decisions we need to make throughout the day or the week. Kendra takes things that are stressing her out and makes her decision once, and then never again (until the decision is no longer working for her). She makes a fixed decision and then doesn’t have to worry about making the decision again. She’s decided once.
For example, she wears the same outfit every Monday. Mondays used to stress her out, so she looked at ways to reduce the stress. One of the things that was stressing her out was not knowing what to wear. So, she streamlined her Mondays by deciding to wear the same outfit each week. Now she wakes up and knows exactly what to wear because she’s already decided. One less decision leads to a little less stress and anxiety.
You’ve probably already used this principle in your eating disorder without even realizing it. Maybe at some point you decided you would order a salad instead of a sandwich. When you look at the menu at a restaurant, your eyes are drawn to certain safe foods. This decision to order foods that are safe for your eating disorder is almost automatic because you’ve already decided what to order before you even get there. This application of the principle fuels your eating disorder, but how can use it to fuel your recovery instead? This is one way to practice turning our liabilities into assets, or taking out personality traits from the darkness to the light (Read Key 3 in the 8 Keys book to learn more about this concept).
Decide Once in Eating Disorder Recovery.
While Kendra uses this to make long-term decisions, for our purposes it’s best to focus on short-term. Things change, especially in recovery, and we want to practice flexibility instead of rigidity.
This is about using a few fixed decisions to our advantage, especially in the early stages of recovery. Before we can master flexibility around food, sometimes we really need to master consistent eating first. Fixed decisions around food can help with this. Of course, this is something to work on with your treatment team.
As an eating disorder recovery coach, I help clients implement the goals they’re working on with their treatment team, like how to stay on track with their meal plan, or how to try grocery shop.
So here are a few ways to help us remove the barrier of constant decision-making around food while we practice consistent eating. This will help us show up in our recovery while removing a barrier to following through with our goals (the constant decision-making around food throughout the day).
A meal plan is actually one way to “decide once” in recovery. If you’re working with a dietitian and they’ve given you a meal plan, they’ve already helped you implement this principle to reduce the decisions you need to make around food. You don’t need to argue with your eating disorder self as much because you already have a guide or something concrete for your healthy self to follow.
Here are some other ways to implement this strategy:
If you have a hard time deciding what to make for dinner every night, what if you made a fixed decision around the type of food you would made for each night of the week (or even just for one or two nights)? For example:
Monday night - Mexican
Tuesday night - Italian
Wednesday night - Takeout or leftovers
Thursday night - Casserole
Friday night - Pizza
Make a schedule for the week. Meal plan on Saturdays. Then grocery shop and meal prep every Sunday (or whatever days work for you!).
If you’re having a hard time eating out at restaurants, “decide once” to meet a friend for brunch every Saturday.
Sometimes it’s as simple as doing a “Subscribe & Save” on Amazon for some household staples that you will always need.
Having a routine with some fixed decisions (that still allow for flexibility) helps us clear mental space and energy for other things. Because recovering from an eating disorder is exhausting, and having a plan in place is always helpful when implementing tough goals.
So what can you “decide once” with this week? Remember, the eating disorder self will always want to chime in and try to talk you out of healthy self decisions, so try to practice saying, “I’ve already made the decision to eat XYZ that is in line with my meal plan. I’m not changing my mind and you can’t talk me out of it.”
And remember, flexibility is hard in recovery. Making some fixed decisions isn’t the end-all-be-all. These aren’t meant to be permanent or forever. It’s about making things just a little bit easier right now.
Try the decide once principle this week and see what happens. You’ll be amazed at how much brain space you have once you:
Make a decision that’s been stressing you out,
Decide to follow through with said decision, and
Don’t give the eating disorder self the time or space to talk you out of it.
It might not feel like it, but you are in control. You are in control of your decisions. You are in control of your recovery. Decide once to make some hard, recovery-oriented decisions and stick to them.
Hey there, I’m Lizzie, a CCI Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach working with clients virtually worldwide. I help individuals heal their relationship with food and their bodies through day-to-day behavior changes and goal setting.
