5 steps to help you cope with a bad body image day in eating disorder recovery.
Recovering from an eating disorder is no easy feat. Trust me, I’ve been there and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it was also the most rewarding, and recovering from my eating disorder gave me a life I only dreamed of.
A big barrier for me was dealing with body image. There were times when each day felt worse than the last. I isolated, hid from my friends, and could barely focus on anything other than how uncomfortable I felt in my body. I just felt bad all the time.
Looking back, I can see how much I missed out on because I felt ashamed and uncomfortable in my body. I avoided parties and date nights, and instead, I sat alone, just me and my eating disorder.
If you’re struggling with a bad body image day (or many) in eating disorder recovery, know that this is temporary. It will not last forever. Also know that you have control over your perception of your body. You have the ability to accept your body, wherever it is, right now (more on that in step 5).
If today is one of those days, I’m sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug and show you what an amazing and beautiful soul you are. You are destined for so much more than this.
So, try these 5 steps below. And remember, you are a soul who happens to have a body.
“If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideas of beauty would be.” - Lauren Jauregui
Step 1. Find an outfit that makes you feel comfortable
On days when I was struggling with body image, one of the first things I did was change into an outfit I felt comfortable in. There’s nothing worse than wearing clothes that don’t fit well (it just makes us fixate on our bodies even more).
At first I opted for something baggy so that I could hide my body, but soon I realized that didn’t always help. Then I found a few go-to outfits that were stretchy (but still fit me) and made me feel like myself.
Plan these out ahead of time so that you don’t need to try on every outfit you own when you’re already feeling uncomfortable (trust me, it will only make things worse!). And if you need some support while clothes shopping during recovery, an eating disorder recovery coach can help with that!
Step 2. Repeat quotes and affirmations
Once you’ve put on something comfy, try to take the focus off of how you feel in your body and start to focus on what is more important, or what truly matters. For example, think about why you want to recover, what you want your recovered life to look like, and what you need to do to get there.
When struggling with body image, it can be easy to lose sight of why you’re going through recovery. Take some time to come up with a list of quotes, affirmations, and mantras that resonate with you. When you’re struggling, go through the list to help you refocus. You should genuinely believe these things, so don’t write something that you don’t think is true. That won’t help. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
“And I said to my body, softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’” - Nayyirah Waheed
“An elder was talking to his grandson about how he felt about a past tragedy. The elder said, ‘I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry, violent one; the other wolf is a loving, compassionate one.’ And the grandson asked, ‘Which one will win the fight in your heart?’ And the elder answered, ‘The one which I feed.’”
“I will feed myself and fight this illness, not feed this illness and fight myself.”
“We get so worried about being pretty. Let’s be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong.” - Britt Nicole
“I am beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds. Sometimes in smiles.” - Laurie Halse Anderson
“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” - Robert H. Schuller
“Hating your body will never get you as far as loving it will.”
“If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you’d have no friends at all.” - Marcia Hutchinson
Step 3. Create a space that feels safe and do something that feels good
Instead of trying to change your body to “deal with” body dissatisfaction, try changing something that is in your control and will help reduce your anxiety. Create (or go to) a calming space where you feel safe and practice treating your body with kindness. Here are some examples of things you can do right now:
Put on your favorite music
Light a candle
Have your favorite cup of tea
Cover your mirrors
Read a book
Go for a walk in nature
Paint your nails or do a face mask
Step 4. Know that body dissatisfaction is not correlated with weight the way you think
If you have an eating disorder, you might believe that changing your body will heal your bad body image. You might believe that you will be happier if you change the way you look. You might also know that that’s the eating disorder self trying to convince you that you must change to be happy.
What’s interesting, however, is that changing your body will not fix body dissatisfaction. If body dissatisfaction and weight were correlated in the way we think, people who are underweight would have fewer body image problems. That’s not the reality, however. People of all weights, shapes, and sizes may be dissatisfied with their body, and that’s because the dissatisfaction has little to do with outward appearance and more to do with your perception and attitude towards your body.
So stop viewing your body as something that needs to be fixed or changed, and instead think about what you need to do to heal your relationship with your body. I know it’s cliche, but happiness comes from within. No body weight or shape will get you there if you had to destroy yourself in the process.
Step 5. Practice accepting your body, as it is, in this moment
If you’re having a difficult time with body image right now, it means you are attached to it being a different way. You’re resistant to what your body looks like, probably because your eating disorder self is trying to convince you it “should” look different. Resistance to the present moment (and to your body as it is right now) causes pain.
Instead of thinking about how to change your body in order to be happy with it, think about what would happen if you were just to accept what it is right now. What would you do differently if you could accept your body? If you were at what you believe to be you “ideal weight/shape/size” right now, how would things be different? Would you focus on other things, like who you are as a person and a soul?
Accepting your body today doesn’t mean you will instantly love it. It means you can start to care about other things more than you care about your body - like being a good friend, sibling, or significant other. It means putting time and energy into things you love and that bring you joy. It means fully living in the present instead of waiting for the “perfect body” to enjoy life. It means caring for your soul and seeing and appreciating beauty in ordinary moments.
You’ve spent enough time hating your body, let’s try something different and see what happens. Remember, your body only wants to be your friend.
Hey there, I’m Lizzie, a CCI Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach working with clients virtually worldwide. I help individuals heal their relationship with food and their bodies through day-to-day behavior changes and goal setting.
